War of the Worlds (2025)

I don't think there's a way to say this lightly. I loathed this "movie." I've been putting off watching it solely because I knew it would be a soul-souring brain-killing ninety minutes I'd never get back. Somehow, though, it was worse than I thought it would be.

Reasonably, I didn't want to subject myself to this monstrosity alone, so I watched the glorified Zoom call with four of my closest friends. When we normally watch a bad movie together, we all riff and joke the entire time and end up having more fun than we bargained for. War of the Worlds (2025) was so empty that we couldn't even joke about it. All we could say was "live Ice Cube reaction" over and over again until our bodies became so wilted that we nearly melted into puddles of the world's most bored mush. 

I can barely find words to describe just how less-than-worthless this experience was. It was a net-negative that took years off our lives we weren't expecting to pay. We knew it would be bad. We just didn't know it would be a literal void in space and time that Amazon Prime has the audacity to call a film.

I did have the benefit of watching (watching is a strong word; it was more like "being subjected to") this thing with an IT expert on the couch, who informed us that right-clicking on the image of a drone and selecting "commandeer drone" is, indeed, not how you would hack anything, much less a government drone. His crash outs were the most entertaining part of the torture.

If you're going to watch it, just watch Drew Gooden's video about it. Not only will you actually enjoy yourself, but there is nothing that happens in War of the Worlds (2025) that he doesn't cover better than the thing itself does. You'll get the same experience without the unfortunate side effects of putting yourself through the worst advertisement for Microsoft Teams in the universe.

Overall, well... nothing. I've got literally nothing and was given literally nothing. This was the worst thing ever. The end.